Does it take a month? Six months? A year? Do you actually ever get over an ex? Obviously, every relationship is different and I can’t speak for others. But in my case, I never ever doubted I was over my ex until one day. Certain people in my life started questioning my feelings so I started doubting myself. What if I was still in love with him? What if I still have unresolved feelings and that is why I can't move on and start dating again?
This situation of self doubt stemmed from me being in my "feelings" on the day where my ex and I would've celebrated a seven year anniversary. Someone insisted that only people who aren’t over their ex would remember their anniversary date. They reflected their own insecurities with their own ex on to me and made me question how I felt. But the self doubt that was inflicted didn't last long. They were wrong. I had resolved my feelings with my ex a long time ago. I knew exactly how I felt.
But just because I was past that chapter in my life, was I not allowed to feel sad? Nobody has the right to tell me what I should be or shouldn’t be feeling. And the funny thing is, that moment when I was "in my feelings", I wasn’t even sad because I missed my ex. I was sad because I was reflecting on where I was in my present life. It was only a few years ago where I knew I had all these great things ahead of me. A past moment where I thought I knew who I was going to marry. A moment where I thought I knew who was going to be the father of my children. Fast forward two years, and I was in a situation where I didn’t even know what I wanted to do with myself yet alone how I felt towards certain guys in my life.
Ever since I was younger, my plan had been to get married and start having children by the age of 25. I planned on already being in law school and working towards the goals I had set for myself. Yet there I was, a 26 year old girl that was too scared to take the next step in her career and liking people who seemed to care less about her. I mean, who wouldn’t get in their feels? lol. At that moment I wished I could go back a few years ago. Not because of the person that was in my life back then, but because at that moment in time, I had a clear view of my future and everything was easy.
I guess the main point I am trying to get across with this post is that you are allowed to feel how ever the fuck you want to feel. People are going to talk, judge, and question you regardless. Whether you get over someone “too fast” or take “too long.” But it is none of their business. Do what you got to do, feel what you got to feel. There is no time limit on healing.
Soooo I am kinda using this post to introduce a potential new way of how I will be formatting my blog. Obviously, y’all have noticed how much I suck at posting on my blog. But just because I don’t post, doesn’t mean I haven’t been writing. As of lately, I have been getting back into my poetry. So I decided instead of just posting one long post about shit that happens in my life, I will post my thoughts/opinions about a subject followed by a poem about the subject. Hopefully this way gets me back on track with updating my blog more frequently.
With that being said, I will be posting my first public poem, “But Then Something Happened” that I wrote about my past relationship. And if you want take this poem as me still being in love with a person that was once important in my life, then go ahead. Because at the end of the day, I know exactly how I feel and that’s all that really matters :)
"Your emotions are your emotions, and your emotions are valid."
- Jill Emanuele
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